


the journey was long, but now we can look out at the sunrise from the mountaintop

by MigrantMayhem



Series: healing takes time, like seeds growing to flowers [8]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Parenthood, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MigrantMayhem/pseuds/MigrantMayhem
Summary: After the niceties of the Feast of the Winter Star, Willow and Robin were talking about the plans for her new coop, when Robin can't help but reveal that she felt she's the reason Sebastian is the way he is. On the anniversary of her mother's death, Willow can't stand to let another mother wilt at the idea that they somehow ruined their child.
Relationships: Robin & Player (Stardew Valley), Robin & Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Sebastian/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: healing takes time, like seeds growing to flowers [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154150
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	the journey was long, but now we can look out at the sunrise from the mountaintop

**Author's Note:**

> winter 25, year 1

Sebastian cast a glance to Robin and Willow, who stood at the counter where Robin did business. He offered a wave to Willow, but shot a mistrustful look to Robin, before climbing down the stairs.

“Night, mom,” He muttered, “Don’t stay out too late, Willow.”

Willow grinned at the space Seb had been, but when she turned back to Robin her face looked distraught.

“Hey, everything okay?” Willow prodded gently.

Robin looked down, and for a moment her age showed-- lines creased her face from stress and worry. “I… It’s fine. I just… sometimes I worry I really messed him up, you know?”

Willow took a breath, standing a little straighter, before glancing at the wall the stairwell connected to. She looked up to Robin. “Talk to me, what’s got you thinkin’ that?”

Robin chuckled dryly, sniffling a little. “I just… He used to be such a happy kid, you know? When he was like, nine or ten, he was so-- so outgoing! He was a bright ball of energy, I could barely keep up.” She paused, swallowing thickly, “Sometimes I wonder what happened to that kid.”

Willow’s tongue clicked in her mouth and she brought a hand across the counter in an attempt to be reassuring. “I’m sure it’s not your fault, Robin.”

Robin took her hand, squeezing it gently, wiping her eyes with her other hand. “I mean, I don’t know. I know he and Demetrius have never really… gotten along. I know he struggles with Maru. He’s been a recluse since she started getting all the good marks in school…”

“What age was that?”

“Maru? She was… what? Maybe 7, 8. He was like… twelve.”

Willow nodded. “Teenage angst is a thing.”

Robin sighed, “Maru never went through that. Neither did Sam, or Penny, or-- I don’t know. I don’t know.”

There was a pause, and Robin looked up at Willow. She gives her hand a squeeze before letting her go. “Sorry, sorry. Don’t mind me, you shouldn’t--”

“No, Robin. Wait,” Willow stopped her, “Let me show you something.”

Willow and Robin went into the dining room-- it was late, and moonlight streamed through the kitchen window.

“I… I understand that I’m not the kind of kid parents want near their kids,” She muttered softly, studying the wood grain in the floorboards, shuffling her winter coat off of her shoulders.

“No, Willow-- I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply--” Robin stuttered, trying valiantly to clean up her mess.

“No, no. You didn’t. It’s a fact-- I mean, look at me,” Willow laughed softly, gesturing one-handedly to her face, “And you saw me when I first rolled into town-- I was barely held together, I had a teddy bear strapped into the front seat of my car, for Seed’s sake.”

Robin chuckled quietly with her.

Willow drew a deep breath, removing her right arm from her jacket sleeve. “I had lost my mom three days before that. It was, well. It was tonight, a year ago, that I got the call.”

Robin looked up, blinking widely. Willow turned her gaze away. “It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with her death. It was speculated…” She sighed, shaking her head, “No, it was definitely a suicide. She didn’t leave a note or anything but… when you know, you know.”

Tears rolled freely down Robin’s face, “I’m so-- I’m so sorry, Willow. I-I didn’t--”

“Not many people do, Robin. I haven’t told a lot of people. Like I said, that wound’s still… it’s still pretty fresh. And I’m never going to get any kind of closure from her, either.”

There was a quiet lull in the conversation. Willow cleared her throat. “We never really got along, me and mom. I wanted to, she wanted to-- we just… butted heads too much. She wanted me to be some… young, quiet, friendly girl, you know? Like you and Demetrius want Maru to be. But… you’ve met me. That’s not who I am-- who I was ever going to be. So… I did a lot of things behind her back. I don’t-- I don’t even know why, you know? It was always stupid shit I was getting in trouble for, the smallest, most asinine things. I couldn’t get why she would get mad at me for it. I resented her for that. Looking back now, I wonder why I poked the bear. Maybe if I hadn’t… we probably would’ve still hated each other but… she would be alive.”

Robin reached across the table, clasping Willow’s hands in hers. Willow took a steadying breath, before smiling reassuringly to her. “Here, I wanted to show you this tattoo I got, right before I left the city. Like, hours before.”

She released Robin’s hands and lifted up her right arm, other hand tracing the faint, tiny print in dark black ink on the underside of her arm. 

“Please tell mom this is not her fault.”

“I… I hated myself for days, after I got it. Thought I had fallen into the trap every parent warns their kids about when it comes to tattoos. I emblazoned a permanent reminder that I was the thing that killed my mother. I’ve… I’ve grown since then. I’ve realized it’s not always that simple. If I was going to be the reason she… she did that, well, she would’ve been gone when I went to juvie.”

Robin trembled in the seat across from Willow, and she drew in a sharp breath.

“I guess there’s two lessons to learn from this. One, things aren’t black-and-white, even if you’re the only two people in each other’s lives, you can’t… you can’t peek inside the other’s head and see what’s been going on up there. Sometimes, people just change. And two… I, for almost a whole damn year, was convinced that my mother had killed herself because I wasn’t what she wanted me to be. I thought I had killed the daughter she wanted, she raised, and… it was _bad_. Don’t… you wouldn’t, but, still. Don’t do that to Seb.”

Willow looked down, before looking back up. “Your son might be an antisocial shut-in, but he’s my best friend. I… I love him, and all his flaws. Even if he’s not the same kid he was growing up, he’s still a great… He’s just, such a good guy. You did _fine_ , Robin. Trust me.”

A sob fluttered out of Robin’s throat, and she wiped her eyes quickly. Willow stood up, stepped around the table. She wrapped her arms tightly around Robin, who quickly returned the hug, sobbing into her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Willow-- I’m just-- I’m so sorry--” She spluttered into the soft fabric of Willow’s winter coat, “Thank you, thank you. You’re… You’re such a good person.”

Willow squeezed Robin, feeling a lump form in her throat but quickly burying it. “Thank _you_ , Robin. For everything.”

Robin swallowed, wiping her eyes one more time, before pulling away. She made the two of them mugs of hot cocoa, and when Willow finished it, she smiled to Robin.

“I should go… It’s getting late.”

“I… yeah. Sorry for keeping you--”

“Don’t apologize, Robin. Anytime.” Willow smiled, nodding to Robin. She pulled on her hat and gloves before setting out into the winter night. The door shut firmly behind her.

Robin sat at her dining room table, mug in hand, mulling over everything she had been told. Her eyes were still glassy and her heart still ached, but she felt better. She felt like she learned something.

A creak on the stairs shook her out of her thoughts. Sebastian walked into the kitchen.

“Mom, what are you still doing up?” He muttered softly. She looked up at him-- her dearest son, and for a moment she saw the flash of red hair rolling snowballs in the snow, but the longer she looked at him she saw him laughing with his friends around the pool table, slinging Willow over his shoulder because she was just small enough for him to do so, watching Sam practice his kickflips, beating Abby at Journey of the Prairie King because he’d never _not_ have a competitive streak, and her eyes watered and a sob broke in her throat.

“Mom?” He asked, stepping up to the table.

She stood from the table and wrapped her arms around his waist-- he was so tall now, he was fully grown, how did he still fit in the basement being so tall? And she felt his arms come around her shoulders and he squeezed her tightly to his chest.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I just-- I’m so sorry I made you ever feel like you weren’t part of the family, like you weren’t wanted, weren’t _perfect_ \-- Yoba, I’m so sorry--”

Sebastian swallowed, breath catching in his throat.

“It’s okay, Mom. It’s… It’s okay.”


End file.
